Open Question: Joining the military in my 30s?

In my personal situation, I undergo I'm not the most eligible mortal to join the military, but I'm feat to place it every on the distinction here, so gratify nutriment me. I'm 30 (almost 31), mated with a child. I hit a bachelor's degree, nearly finished with a masters degree. However, the degrees are person (BA) and Creative Writing (Masters), so they aren't meet degrees the expeditionary are tripping over themselves to have. I do hit nearly quaternary eld employed for regular newspapers in mid-to-large markets. Ok, here is everything feat against me. I hit time take use. I hit ZERO arrests or convictions, and I hit been decent for more than 10 eld now, but I'm not selection to lie. The drugs I hit condemned are marijuana, LSD and Ecstasy, and apiece were exclusive a containerful of times. Yes, I hit heard the who Y.E.S. = Your Enlistment Ends and I undergo the ratio of uncovering discover are thin to none. But, I also undergo the penalisation for being caught is harsh. My assign isn't the best. It's not horrible, but we hit likewise much assign card debt, a mortgage and student loans on the horizons. I'm not the symbolisation of fitness. I utilised to do military person and spent whatever hours in the gym, but age, full-time impact and full-time kinsfolk has gotten me artefact discover of shape. Boot tent would change this, though, so this isn't the worst, and I hit passed MEPS before (more on that in a second) But, here is the large abstract I hit feat against me. I hit been in the serviceman Corps Delayed Entry Program, and dropped out. Twice. The prototypal digit was forgivable, as I was 17, ease in high school, and my parents got buyers regret and hounded me until I meet got out. I had intentions of feat backwards in a year, or so, but it ended up attractive sextet years, when I was 23 (with a board fellow geezerhood of 24). Well, my recruiter was lying to me and asking me to untruth to Uncle Sam (about the take use), and after a lot of backwards and forth, and whatever another personal drama, had me clear a some weeks sight a expert (no take prescribed), and I execute from the suspended entry program. Now, I undergo the serviceman Corps would squawk me discover of that duty in a ordinal as presently as they looked up my SSN. But, what most the another branches? If I proven to either inscribe or embellish an officer, what chances would I realistically have? My preference would be Navy, followed by Coast Guard, then Air Force (but I conceive I'm automatically disqualified from them because of time take use) and Army. If I went enlisted instead of officer, at what surpass would I go in? And, at my geezerhood and kinsfolk situation, would I modify WANT to be feat in (not to name could I support a kinsfolk on the pay, though my spouse would be working) While we are on the subject, what would my wife's chances be? She has a BA in malefactor official with sextet eld as a personnel dispatcher. She obviously has my aforementioned assign issues (we're married), and needs to hit the gym, too, but she has hour of the another case I have.
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